unpredictable

I'm starting to get discouraged with dystonia and life again. I look and feel like shit. The torticollis is just so unpredictable. Some days I feel normal... others it's back to the worst again. I still have to teach myself that I can't control it, I can't control how people feel about me, and let go. Let go of caring what the world thinks and do whatever the hell I want. It's funny because there's still a part of me that believes that someday it'll be gone, either on it's own or from the treatment.

I've noticed the one muscle on the right side of my neck has finally relaxed so that it's not so tensed and prominent as it was before. When my head twitched you could see the muscle flex and tighten.

I'm going to try to drive myself to the doctor's alone tomorrow.