Limbo

If the past year were a walk through hell for me then perhaps I am now in limbo, just trying to find my way back. It's not such a bad place because, thank the Lord, there is a light at the end of the tunnel... but the light seems to change direction every once in a while, is sometimes hard to disseminate from the greys, and sometimes even seems to grow farther rather than closer. But it is there. And eventually I will get there.

So my disability benefits finally ran out. I got a letter in the mail saying I had exhausted my benefit. I can't complain: a year's salary paid to me while I lay in bed. I now have lost the right to complain about having paid taxes. At the same time, work has asked that I hold on until one of my upper managers gets back before we talk about going back to work. I haven't made any decisions, but I have a feeling that means they won't be having me back at all. That may seem cold and daunting for me, but when I think back over the year it really isn't. I survived partly because of the insurance that they kept me on. And being let go from a job isn't as scary as death from a rare disease.

So that's what limbo's like. No cash flow, nothing to do, just waiting for something to happen, anything.