3rd person

Forgive me if I sound like a broken record, but I was talking to a friend of mine that works in HR regarding my continued disability. As I expected, my company may most likely drop me at the end of 12 months of disability (October). The FMLA covers for that much, but then the company can act on the hardship it has on carrying the employee as well. This means I may potentially lose my insurance come October. Considering that I'm single, I honestly don't know how I'll be able to survive past that part. My insurance allows me to see my doctors who are trying to find treatment and who sign off on my disability checks, which I use to pay the insurance bills and keep me going.

You know, you always wonder how people make it through extended periods of time being ill and stuck in the medical/insurance world but to be in yourself is surreal. Considering that I have no control over this, it feels like I'm just watching it happen too. I'm just the guy that brings the forms from the post office to the doctor, that faxes them between hospitals and my company, that sits at home waiting for treatment to work.

There are times when I still don't believe it's me.