patience
I met with Dr. Liang today to go over the results of last botox treatment. She asked me a lot of questions about how disabled I am, observed my dystonic movement a bit, and we discussed at length how I should be getting on until my next treatment.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to have an increase in the botox until May. This means that it's another 2 months of feeling limited at home, waiting again to see if treatments might somehow work.
While I'm feeling hopeful in treatments (she helped me realise exactly how much I've gotten back), being out this long does make me lose a sense of security in keeping my job. This coming August will have been my one year anniversary. Guessing that May's injection will still be too low, I will be cutting it close to that one year.
At the same time, I'm thinking it might be best for me to start anew somewhere else. I don't want the stigma that I've been on disability and that I've been sick to affect my job relationships.
...The nurse said that I gained 4 pounds since last month. I would have expected more.
...On a personal note, 2 more months of being in my current state are more daunting in terms of human contact. I miss people, I miss my friends, I miss interacting with others, working with them, participating in life. I've been able to find things here and there to do with my spare time, and thank God and technology for connecting me with others through the net but nothing really comes close to being around others. I'm lonely.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to have an increase in the botox until May. This means that it's another 2 months of feeling limited at home, waiting again to see if treatments might somehow work.
While I'm feeling hopeful in treatments (she helped me realise exactly how much I've gotten back), being out this long does make me lose a sense of security in keeping my job. This coming August will have been my one year anniversary. Guessing that May's injection will still be too low, I will be cutting it close to that one year.
At the same time, I'm thinking it might be best for me to start anew somewhere else. I don't want the stigma that I've been on disability and that I've been sick to affect my job relationships.
...The nurse said that I gained 4 pounds since last month. I would have expected more.
...On a personal note, 2 more months of being in my current state are more daunting in terms of human contact. I miss people, I miss my friends, I miss interacting with others, working with them, participating in life. I've been able to find things here and there to do with my spare time, and thank God and technology for connecting me with others through the net but nothing really comes close to being around others. I'm lonely.
posted by RJ at 7:08 PM
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