seizure

I spent the afternoon with my sister on Friday at the Mall with my neckbrace on. I don't know if the comfort of the neckbrace (perhaps as a large sensory trick) contributed to this or not, but the dystonia didn't bother me much. I was even able to take it off at home without a major dystonic episode.

Yesterday, however, was really difficult. It was one of those days that steals my courage that I can just make do with the condition and live a normal life. It was one of those days where the sensory tricks don't do much and I feel like I'm having one big muscle seizure. I really wish this were something I could control emotionally.

...I received the invoice for my first botox procedure on Friday. Just per chance, I called the Parkinson's Institute and found out that a claim wasn't submitted towards my insurance (to at least count towards my deductible since it's out of pocket). It was a miscommunication on my part, we told them we'd pay for the procedure out of pocket in a rush to get it done. The lady on the phone was really nice and said she'd take care of it.

...Aside from the daily battles of the dystonia I can't help but spend a lot of my free time worrying about everything from my current job, to being on disability, to paying my bills, to salvaging any semblance of a career, to being accepted by people around me, to being able to get married and have a family, to the future. Being on disability is supposed to quell some of that unease and protect me I know but, as I'm relating to a lot of people that are in the same boat, I'm finding out what a scary place this is to be.